Phone-Free Evenings for Two: How Couples Can Wind Down Together

Key Takeaways

• Phone time before bed can impair your sleep by keeping your brain active and suppressing the release of melatonin.
• If you have a partner, scrolling at night can also negatively impact your relationship by preventing emotional connection (especially important after a long, stressful day). 
• Hatch Restore makes it easy to wind down together after work with relaxing light and sound routines, plus phone-free controls.

If you’ve ever looked up from your phone at 9:47 PM. and realized you and your partner have been sitting next to each other in complete silence for 20 minutes, you’re not alone. Even the best intentions to “wind down together” can quietly turn into scrolling, half-listening, and answering just one more message.

Phone-free evenings aren’t about banning devices or pretending real life doesn’t exist. They’re about creating small pockets of time to slow down, reconnect, and actually end the day on the same page. A few intentional habits can go a long way toward helping couples unwind together (no dramatic digital detox required).

Table of contents

1. Why Phone-Free Evenings Matter for Couples
2. How to Create a Phone-Free Evening Routine That Actually Works
3. Key Takeaways
4. FAQs
5. References 

Why Phone-Free Evenings Matter for Couples

Want to get better sleep and strengthen your relationship with your partner? Putting your phone away a few hours before you go to bed is a great first step toward taking better care of both yourself and your relationship.

Whether you’re scrolling through silly TikToks or you’re glued to your work email, phone time keeps your brain in “go mode” when your mind and body should be shifting gears towards rest mode. As you probably know, blue light from screens can trick your brain into thinking it’s daytime (and, as a result, suppress the release of the sleep hormone melatonin). 

As for your relationship: Doomscrolling before bed may feel like a form of "parallel play,” but over time, it can strain your bond. When you’re staring at your phone, your brain is locked in to what you’re reading or watching, which makes it hard to connect with your partner. Shared, phone-free downtime can boost emotional intimacy and improve communication, along with helping you both regulate your nervous system as you move toward sleep.

How to Create a Phone-Free Evening Routine That Actually Works 

When it comes to an evening routine for couples, focus on intention, not perfection. Spending time unwinding together should feel like a way to reconnect and unwind after a busy day, not a chore or another item to cross off the to-do list. The following steps can be a great place to start if you’re ready to swap evening phone time for relaxing together. 

Start With a Shared Agreement (Not a Rule)

First, get on the same page with your partner. Talk about why you want to prioritize phone-free time, and what “phone-free” actually means for you. For example, will you put your phones in another room at a certain time so you can catch up on your days or choose one shared moment each evening — like a short walk or stretching together — where phones simply aren’t part of the experience?

Pick a Consistent Cue to Put Phones Away

Relying on willpower alone to put your phone down can be tough, especially at the end of a long day. Instead, tie phone-free time to a consistent cue you already have, like after dinner, once the kids are in bed, or when the lights dim in the evening. These built-in moments make it easier to remember and follow through without overthinking it.

This is where habit stacking can really help couples. By linking phone-free time to something you already do together, you turn it into a shared rhythm rather than a rule you have to enforce. Over time, the cue itself becomes the reminder, making it feel more natural to put phones away and shift into a calmer, more connected part of the evening.

Choose Activities That Help You Both Unwind

Use your phone-free time to connect and communicate — and to help each other shift gears toward bedtime after a busy day.This time should feel easy and restorative — an opportunity to co-regulate your nervous systems and set a relaxing vibe for sleep.

For example, after chatting about your day and having a cup of herbal tea, you could listen to a cozy podcast or soothing sound bath together on your Hatch Restore. To take your phone-free wind down time to the next level, tune into Date Night, Restore’s five-minute podcast that helps couples connect with calming bedtime activities. 

Make It Short and Sustainable

Starting small is key for phone-free evenings. Aim for just 20-30 minutes at first, which is plenty of time to unwind together without it feeling like a big commitment. Shorter routines are generally easier to keep, especially on busy or unpredictable nights.

Once the habit feels natural, you can always extend it. Building consistency first helps your routine stick, making it more likely to become a lasting part of your evenings rather than something that fades after a few days.

Give Each Other Grace

The healthiest relationships prioritize connection, but also understanding and flexibility. Some nights won’t be totally phone-free, and that’s OK! Prioritize progress over perfection and give each other grace if you can’t stick with it from time to time. Returning to your phone-free habit — or any healthy habit — matters more than getting it right every single night. 

If you’re ready to take better care of yourself and your relationship, learn how Hatch Restore can help.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it OK if only one partner wants phone-free evenings at first?

Yes. It’s common for partners to have different comfort levels with reducing phone use. Starting with a short, agreed-upon window can help build trust and show the benefits without forcing change.

Can phone-free evenings improve sleep for couples?

They can. Reducing screen use at night may help lower mental stimulation and support a smoother transition into rest, especially when paired with calming, shared activities.

What if we already spend time together but still use our phones?

Being physically together isn’t the same as being mentally present. Setting aside intentional phone-free time can create deeper connections and make shared moments feel more restorative.

References

1. He, J. W., Tu, Z. H., Xiao, L., Su, T., & Tang, Y. X. (2020). Effect of restricting bedtime mobile phone use on sleep, arousal, mood, and working memory: A randomized pilot trial. PloS one, 15(2), e0228756. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0228756
2. Zhong, C., Masters, M., Donzella, S. M., Diver, W. R., & Patel, A. V. (2025). Electronic screen use and sleep duration and timing in adults. JAMA Network Open, 8(3), e252493. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2025.2493